Wifeogram, this term may sound unique or exciting for many men and especially for the Asian people. And, even I was in the same mirage until I experienced the same in Europe too, which replaces both my conditions “Asians” and “Millennial” in the relationships. In ancient days, the TelEx technologies were used for the telegraphy in 400 BC during the construction of the Great Wall of China. Later the codes became texts, and electronic telegraphy came into existence, and many happened as a part of the development. The origin of Wifeogram is Wife + Telegram!
Ok, coming to the core now. To put the disclaimer, I am not against any Gender and kindly understand that while composing this post, I am single, meaning never married or never been in a relationship. Most of us are excited when someone enters into our life and incorporate significant changes. There are many funny posts which says “If you want to change the world now, else after marriage you cannot even change the TV channel!”. This may sound funny, but there is a massive dedication from the boys’ side to compassionate their spouse, and most of them do it with a feeling of giving up for a charity. Since most of my fellows were getting married, I observed the rapid changes and thought this was for the Millennials only.
Alike the telegraph, “WIFE” is just a message; the sender is an influencer or the origin type. The type could be either a piece of good news or the bad news in the telegraph. Way back, when a telegram is sent I know the people start crying as if someone is dead. Same applies here in the relationships too. It is not always bad results when marriages happen. The so-called wife needs to be highly educated by their spouses about each and everyone in his framework. It not only limits the family members, but it should also expand for the friends, colleagues, subordinates and superiors. This is not a mandatory one, but this will be expanding the horizons of conversation as well as give a better insight about a person whom they have involved or collaborating officially or personally. Definitely not the one involving privately as that is injurious for life. 😀
The trust and the confidence that women show on her spouse’s friend or colleague or anyone associated depicts the depth of the relationship among the spouse.
Alongside, I have crossed numerous couples while I started as an Entrepreneur, journeyed with the Governments and even after landing as a Diplomat now. It could be highly diverse in nature as all the designations I served were sophisticated enough and made me interact with a broader range of people cross-continents. On the excellent baseline, I avoid meeting families of friends, colleagues or others because 95% of the conversation with their family would be boring and will make me judge them about their inabilities. Also, society is crampy and doubles the thought in Asia when I visit someone who has an unmarried woman in their families like a daughter or sister. Thought of quoting a few instances where I felt highly confident enough.
First one was my senior and then the employee and grew up to the level of co-founder for my IT venture back in 2009 while I was literally a kid. His spouse was first introduced to me before to their parents. Before he brought her to meet me at the Mc Donalds of Madiwala, Bangalore, India he had briefed very well about me deeply for hours not limited to what I like and what not and much more. Starting from ordering the kinds of stuff at the counter till sending off, things were seeming well learnt. Even after their marriage, the same wavelength was there from both of them whenever I visited their home like brewing coffee (including the quantity of sugar), lunch and dinner of my choice and I can stack a lot such. On the same side, I have got sufficient scoldings which doesn’t bother me much.
Another one who was of the same age, connected via the college network invited me to his home and wanted me to stay after almost 8 years of conversation which I profoundly refused because I could infer that there is something not OK of me staying there. The moment she saw me in the car with her spouse, she was like “What the hell this guy doing here?” and even the greeting wasn’t adorable for me. My friend and I went around the city for sometime before he was blasted for getting around with me. My value didn’t depreciate, but I learnt my position value and avoided further visiting.
The other guy was an IPS officer who used to visit me whenever he crosses Pondicherry to his native from Chennai. We meet at 2 AM or 3 AM and keep chatting for an hour or two about various topics not limiting to the cases he handles but also in the politics of the state, national and international. She used to sleep in the car with engine ON as two kids, including one infant, would be sleeping. I haven’t been to their home frequently, I hardly remember visiting home only once in all these years. But they have visited my home numerous time and had invaded our kitchen preparing late night dinners or coffee which has profoundly created memories. The level I interact with him is nowhere less than the level I interact with her. I have mentioned about him in various other posts earlier too, his gesture of trust on me which I didn’t have of handling his pregnant spouse during a visit to the UK was remarkable. Those were landmark memories which I will mention about to my better half.
And lastly, I thought all this happens only with Asians and especially Indians. I learnt that it wasn’t right and occurs everywhere. I had dinner with 3 people at the UK an elegant evening which includes a young couple (84 years old and 79 years old) and top British businessman around 55 years. I was teaching them about Indian food, and we had an outstanding interaction. As time was fading, my interaction with 84 years old deepened and on the other side 79 years and 55 years communication was in-depth. We weren’t bothered and the time came when deserts came up, and I inquired if he was diabetic for which he answered NO. I offered him a new desert and immediately his wife turned to our said and NO before she continued to speak with that businessman. Even though she was rooted in the conversations, she had an eye on our talk, which was very impressive.
The bonds are not attracted like magnets but made with assortments. I hope the same goes for the women for their besties and friends. Any insights do mail me so that I can review it. Never limit and introduce your family alone independent of gender, go further for extended family as they will be much more helpful than the so-called relatives.
Had been a hectic month, see you back soon with a multi-page blog.