In the present world, we see many people miss the conduct code by skipping the term “Commitment” assuming it as a word. In reality, it is an act. And this act needs loads of consistent behaviour, and it happens over some time. A strong commitment exhibits an executive leadership skills of an individual through their behavioural consistency. It took me years to understand the difference between Interest and Commitment.
In nut-shell, commitment is a connection between our values, intentions and actions over some time. Though it is just a choice of adhering or not-adhering, commitment is just an internal process which one needs to follow. Adding, it is self-expression and not to be influenced or enforced by external agents. Talking to people about five years down the road is hard for them to get their head around, especially for young people who are accustomed to instant gratification. People want success now, and few are willing to be patient.
Everyone had tough days and tough times, these “tough” can influence them at large and can change them. But sticking on a commitment is highly voluntary and larger than self.
As Cialdini states, “Once we have made a choice or taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment. Those pressures will cause us to respond in ways that justify our earlier decision.”
Small Recent Incident:
A few years ago, I was very close with a friend. We use to hang out on a weekly basis just to spend time and share our office and personal stories. On a beautiful Friday, he wanted to open a Bank account, and I recommended him to go with Kotak Mahindra Bank or Standard Chartered Bank. Both went crazy, and after few hours of discussion, we resolved to open an account in both the banks. So, I stayed back at Chennai to visit the bank on Saturday and completed the account opening process for him. We were informed that the account kit will be delivered in 4 working days. All done, and I left back to my work. The following week, I happened to lose my mobile in the Airport, and I asked him to order a Phone for me as I was too lazy to review the features. All the account kit of Kotak, StanC and my newly ordered phone were delivered on the consecutive Friday.
As usual, we met, had some dinner and went to the ATMs to reset the PIN of his new debit cards. He had a tough time of choosing a 6 Digit PIN and was asking for a suggestion to me, I asked him to set his DOB, but for security reasons, he wanted my DOB as the PIN. And I didn’t object as the PIN was just numbers. After a couple of hours, when my newly unboxed phone was charged, we were setting up the device, and I was asked to enter a new PIN, he popped into and demanded to have his DOB as the PIN for my mobile device so that I don’t forget his date of birth. I obliged and assigned the same for my device. While dropping, he asked me not to change the PIN even if I change the device, and I gave a commitment to him, that I wouldn’t.
We departed each other after few months over specific trust issues and was not in contact for almost 3 years in a row. During my recent visit to Gujarat for attending Vibrant Gujarat 2019, I happened to meet one of our mutual friends who is very close with him now. And I was in Cloud 9 when I heard that he was still using my DOB as his debit card PIN even after changing his cards. On return, I informed him that I am using his DOB still as my phone PIN and this mutual friend didn’t believe me. When I handed over the phone, he unlocked it with his DOB and sought my permission to inform him about this. Even I was glad that I had such friend who thinks about me still and never wishes me on my Birthday.
Communication involves verbal and nonverbal interaction. While commitment lives in the declaration and words, evidence of commitment lives in the actions we take and don’t take. We should be attentive for evidence of commitment in communication.
“Stick with your commitment always for healthy Relationship”