Education

Secret of Success is whom You Marry / Stay Friends


Secret of Success by Kokula Krishna Hari Kunasekaran

There is an untold story about the Secret of Success is whom you Marry / stay Friends! Now, the story is proved by Carnegie Mellon University, USA. Whether we realize it or not, these people influence your entire thoughts and empower your strength visibly and invisibly.

People with more supportive partners (spouse or friends) tend to take more challenging decisions in their life. This conclusion was obtained after the detailed survey with 163 married couples and their friends. The researchers took a detailed note of the couple interaction and other challenge making moves.

“We found support for the idea that the choices people make at these specific decision points—such as pursuing a work opportunity or seeking out new friends—matter a lot for their long-term well-being,” said Brooke Feeney, lead author of the study and professor of psychology in CMU’s Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences.

Participants with more encouraging partners were substantially more likely to decide to compete for the prize, while those with partners who discouraged them or expressed a lack of confidence more often chose the simple puzzle. Six months later, those who pursued the more challenging task reported having more personal growth, happiness, psychological well-being and better relationships than those who didn’t.

So what can one do to encourage a partner to embrace life opportunities? The researchers found that the most supportive partners expressed enthusiasm about the opportunity, reassured their partners, and talked about the potential benefits of taking on the challenge. “Significant others can help you thrive through embracing life opportunities,” said Feeney. “Or they can hinder your ability to thrive by making it less likely that you’ll pursue opportunities for growth.”

Even beyond this theory, I experienced the same situation recently. I happened to travel to London, the United Kingdom with my close friend who was recently married, and the fear of handling situation was too much heading infront of me than the usual excitement of visiting London. Two of my three very close emotionally intimate friends spoke and gave me the confidence about my travel with this secluded friend. One said,

I haven’t met him KK till now. But after all your narrations about him to me, what I can all say is ‘He is very important for you and in the same way his spouse is also important for him. See her as just half of him and get his feedback every possible time because you haven’t experienced speaking with such possible relations in your life earlier. In angry, maybe because of the pressure from anyone he may shout at you or even slap you hard. Just calm down and keep quiet as much as possible, finish the trip and discuss the issues, that will smoothen your friendship as well as you can learn something in your life.

And, another Indian Civil Servant friend came down to Pondicherry (my hometown) before the trip midnight at 1 AM and gave me tips for 3 hours with best possible examples leaving his wife and 2 kids aside sleeping in the car.

How blessed I am and I get goosebumps when I even think about these people around me which drove me to take up this trip! Of these, I was just analyzing few important speeches of prominent people as I am single (as of today 😛 ) and defined how soulmates define one’s lifestyle. Once in 2011 then US President Barack Obama confirmed just as much

“Obviously I couldn’t have done anything that I’ve done without Michelle. You were asking earlier what keeps me sane, what keeps me balanced, what allows me to deal with the pressure. It is this young lady right here… Not only has she been a great first lady, but she is also just my rock. I count on her in so many ways every single day.”

Again in 2017 at the Harvard Graduation Commencement speech, Mark Zuckerberg said “Priscilla’s the most important person in my life so you can say, it’s the most important thing I built in my time here” about his wife Pricilla Chan!


Kokula Krishna Hari K an Indian born in Pondicherry, South India in 1980's is a pure veteran with acquired knowledge in Business Administration, Computer Research and Entrepreneurship. More information about KK at www.kokulakrishnaharik.in