Indians Life are very interesting. Starting from pushing to choose friends to writing will, nothing happens on their own. Here is a compilation which says about the Average Indian Life.
- Just born, receives a slap on the butt.
- Injections and vaccinations.
- Rubs shit on the body, stinks.
- Sleeps between parents, ruins their sex life.
- Thrown into pre-nursery school at the age of 2 years.
- School interviews, admission.
- Has to carry the load of a bag like a donkey.
- Exams, insults, exams, suspension, exam, PTM, tuitions, sports, exams, report cards, exams, warnings, exams, finds true love of life.
- Schooling over, lover finds someone else in new college.
- College life, fun, friendships, fests, movies, night outs.
- No placement, depression, insults, family pressure.
- Placed finally in an average company with an average profile. Takes parents on a pilgrimage.
- Purchases Hero Honda Passion, aims for Royal Enfield.
- Makes a girlfriend at the office.
- Transportation cost 5,000 INR , salary 15,000 INR.
- Gets a BlackBerry from the company, happy but regrets later.
- Gets an HP Laptop from the company, happy but regrets later.
- Working hours, all day, all night except 2 to 5 am. (Thank you BlackBerry and laptop)
- Friends start discaring in terms of Job, Transfers and Marriages.
- Sends roses by WhatsApp on Valentine’s day.
- Dates at chaat papdi stalls.
- Drinks Officer’s Choice whisky.
- Girlfriend marries a rich guy.
- Distributes her wedding cards and carries her Doli.
- Looks for a bride for an arranged marriage set up.
- Rejects a girl.
- Girl 2 rejects him.
- Girl 3 rejects him.
- Girl 4 rejects him.
- Goes back to girl 1, apologises, requests her, makes fake promises, she accepts the proposal.
- Marriage day, falls from the horse in front of in-laws.
- Relatives criticise the food at marriage.
- Finally, the “night” cums, but he doesn’t.
- Goes to a pilgrimage on honeymoon.
- Somehow manages a “good news” after repeated trials.
- Can’t feed two but waits eagerly for the third.
- Wife throws pregnancy tantrums, wants “saffron Jalebi” “foot massage” “get’s easily irritated”
- A child is born, brings good luck to the world! promotion in job, finally buys a Royal Enfield.
- Buys condoms for the first time, father arrives from nowhere in the same medical shop. “Brother not this I asked for Crocin” Father consoles him and gifts him the strip himself.
- Wife doesn’t work but orders him to share kid’s responsibility.
- Sleeps at 3 am after cleaning shit, condoms expire without usage.
- The child goes to an average school, current income 25,000, school fees 6000 per month.
- Expenses rise, stops savings for old age.
- White hairs start popping out of the head, loses hair on the scalp.
- The child goes to college.
- God gifts Diabetes and Hypertension.
- Pops pills after every meal.
- Finally buys an Alto car on repeated requests by wife and kid. A day of happiness.
- Fuel expenses rise to 20% of total income.
- Gets the kid married, spends every coin saved all throughout life.
- Kid insults him for not giving a good standard of life.
- Still works hard to feed stomach and survive with basic essentials.
- Finds a job after retirement as savings are zero.
- Kid visits with family on every festival and takes back “sagan” (money-filled envelopes) from him.
- Wife does all the household chores at the age of retirement, gets sad looking at her plight.
- Finally saves basic essentials and leaves the job at the age of 75.
- Television & medicines become life.
- Diseases become friends.
- Wishes god for a new life “not as a human” though.
- The struggle comes to an end one day, dead face carries a smile of freedom.
Respect them because average people live their life mostly for others! Indians aren’t machines, we need to give them a bit more space in many things. Their Private Things are Private; Personal Things are Personal and finally, Public Things are Public. Don’t decide on what you didn’t have and enforce it on them.
