Voyage

Average Indian Life


Indians Life are very interesting. Starting from pushing to choose friends to writing will, nothing happens on their own. Here is a compilation which says about the Average Indian Life.

  1. Just born, receives a slap on the butt.
  2. Injections and vaccinations.
  3. Rubs shit on the body, stinks.
  4. Sleeps between parents, ruins their sex life.
  5. Thrown into pre-nursery school at the age of 2 years.
  6. School interviews, admission.
  7. Has to carry the load of a bag like a donkey.
  8. Exams, insults, exams, suspension, exam, PTM, tuitions, sports, exams, report cards, exams, warnings, exams, finds true love of life.
  9. Schooling over, lover finds someone else in new college.
  10. College life, fun, friendships, fests, movies, night outs.
  11. No placement, depression, insults, family pressure.
  12. Placed finally in an average company with an average profile. Takes parents on a pilgrimage.
  13. Purchases Hero Honda Passion, aims for Royal Enfield.
  14. Makes a girlfriend at the office.
  15. Transportation cost 5,000 INR , salary 15,000 INR.
  16. Gets a BlackBerry from the company, happy but regrets later.
  17. Gets an HP Laptop from the company, happy but regrets later.
  18. Working hours, all day, all night except 2 to 5 am. (Thank you BlackBerry and laptop)
  19. Friends start discaring in terms of Job, Transfers and Marriages.
  20. Sends roses by WhatsApp on Valentine’s day.
  21. Dates at chaat papdi stalls.
  22. Drinks Officer’s Choice whisky.
  23. Girlfriend marries a rich guy.
  24. Distributes her wedding cards and carries her Doli.
  25. Looks for a bride for an arranged marriage set up.
  26. Rejects a girl.
  27. Girl 2 rejects him.
  28. Girl 3 rejects him.
  29. Girl 4 rejects him.
  30. Goes back to girl 1, apologises, requests her, makes fake promises, she accepts the proposal.
  31. Marriage day, falls from the horse in front of in-laws.
  32. Relatives criticise the food at marriage.
  33. Finally, the “night” cums, but he doesn’t.
  34. Goes to a pilgrimage on honeymoon.
  35. Somehow manages a “good news” after repeated trials.
  36. Can’t feed two but waits eagerly for the third.
  37. Wife throws pregnancy tantrums, wants “saffron Jalebi” “foot massage” “get’s easily irritated”
  38. A child is born, brings good luck to the world! promotion in job, finally buys a Royal Enfield.
  39. Buys condoms for the first time, father arrives from nowhere in the same medical shop. “Brother not this I asked for Crocin” Father consoles him and gifts him the strip himself.
  40. Wife doesn’t work but orders him to share kid’responsibility.
  41. Sleeps at 3 am after cleaning shit, condoms expire without usage.
  42. The child goes to an average school, current income 25,000, school fees 6000 per month.
  43. Expenses rise, stops savings for old age.
  44. White hairs start popping out of the head, loses hair on the scalp.
  45. The child goes to college.
  46. God gifts Diabetes and Hypertension.
  47. Pops pills after every meal.
  48. Finally buys an Alto car on repeated requests by wife and kid. A day of happiness.
  49. Fuel expenses rise to 20% of total income.
  50. Gets the kid married, spends every coin saved all throughout life.
  51. Kid insults him for not giving a good standard of life.
  52. Still works hard to feed stomach and survive with basic essentials.
  53. Finds a job after retirement as savings are zero.
  54. Kid visits with family on every festival and takes back “sagan” (money-filled envelopes) from him.
  55. Wife does all the household chores at the age of retirement, gets sad looking at her plight.
  56. Finally saves basic essentials and leaves the job at the age of 75.
  57. Television & medicines become life.
  58. Diseases become friends.
  59. Wishes god for a new life “not as a human” though.
  60. The struggle comes to an end one day, dead face carries a smile of freedom.

Respect them because average people live their life mostly for others! Indians aren’t machines, we need to give them a bit more space in many things. Their Private Things are Private; Personal Things are Personal and finally, Public Things are Public. Don’t decide on what you didn’t have and enforce it on them.


Kokula Krishna Hari K an Indian born in Pondicherry, South India in 1980's is a pure veteran with acquired knowledge in Business Administration, Computer Research and Entrepreneurship. More information about KK at www.kokulakrishnaharik.in